Forgiveness
Forgiveness can be defined as, "The act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you." The way that you and I are to relate to folks who have wronged us, is that––we are to act like God toward them. We are to forgive them. Not because of who they are or what they have done to earn our forgiveness; but because of who God is, and what God has graciously done.
The Spirit of Forgiveness
We long for forgiveness: to be able to forgive and to be forgiven. A person who has learned how to forgive is one who is on a journey to spiritual maturity. The spirit of forgiveness allows us to fully experience God's love and acceptance. The spirit of forgiveness allows us to experience true intimacy in our relationships.
A life devoid of the spirit of forgiveness is a life that is in danger of becoming toxic and perpetuates the cycle of injury. Hurt people hurt people! When a person doesn't forgive they become increasingly resentful. Resentment increases stress and contributes to physical and emotional distress. It is impossible to live a grace-filled, productive life when a person is filled with resentment. As a result, a spirit of forgiveness is essential for spiritual growth.
If that is so, then why is it so hard to forgive?
It begins with each of us really accepting the fact that we are forgiven. Until I accept that the Lord has forgiven me, I cannot extend forgiveness to others. We also find it difficult to forgive because we believe we are responsible for exacting justice. The "Big Payback" must come at our hands. But scripture reminds us that God is a just God and we should trust that He will handle the vengeance business.
At the heart of it, we must remember that forgiveness is for our benefit. It's not ultimately about the other person. It's not about whether they are deserving of our forgiveness; it's not about their behaviour, and it's not about our ability to change the person. Changing people is a God job! We may feel concern, empathy, or even pity for a person, but we have no power to change a person.
What Forgiveness is Not
It is important that we not only know what forgiveness is, we must be clear on what forgiveness is not. There are some phrases people use when they've been hurt or mistreated that might sound like forgiveness, but let's clarify what they are not:
1. I will forgive you, but I won't forget it!
When the Bible uses the term "forget", it does not mean amnesia. It refers to our behaviour. Deuteronomy 8:12 says,
“Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgements, and His statutes which I command you today."
When we have really forgiven, we don't continue to behave in ways towards that person that punish them for their sins. We forget it. Not by erasing the act from our memory bank, but rather, by demonstrating love instead of malice.
2. I'm just turning it over to Jesus.
Christian forgiveness is not passivity. We don't opt out of involvement. Rather, we take precise steps towards reconciliation and restoration. When we fail to deal with the issue or the person, we are not really forgiving, we are avoiding.
3. Time heals all wounds.
This is one of those old sayings that sound good, but is just plain wrong. Not only does time not heal all wounds, if wounds are ignored they can become infected and grow far worse than the original injury. Sin, hurt, and abuse, like wounds, must be disinfected and treated properly.
4. It's no big deal!
Pain, injury, betrayal, and abuse are big deals. It is engaging in denial, to say otherwise. Christian forgiveness refuses to deny or diminish sin. It is such a big deal that God gave His Son in order to confront the seriousness of human sin. God doesn't diminish our sin, and we shouldn't deny when we've been injured by the actions, intentional or not, of others. There are always consequences to sin, both to the one committing the act and the one who is injured.
5. That's just the way he (or she) is!
Not only should we not diminish the injury of sins, we shouldn't make excuses for the sinner. Too often we confuse forgiveness with simply making excuses for a person who is responsible for injury to remain as they are. This is not Christian forgiveness.
1 John 1:9 says,
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteous."
A Spanish Story of an Estranged Son
There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad reads,
"Dear Paco, Meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you....
Your Father."
On Saturday, 800 Pacos showed up looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.
“I'm inviting you, like all those Pacos, to join me in accepting the love and forgiveness of our Heavenly Father.”
Blessings & Peace,
Pastor Moore
**Pastor Moore will share a specific topic each month with the Greater Centennial congregation.
Please submit all questions for Pastor's Blog, "Moore Moments'' by the10th of each month to pastorsblog@www.greatercentennial.org ."
