It will surprise no one that as a pastor, I frequently have conversations with my members about a wide range of issues. However, what will surprise some is the fact that I often have conversations with non-church members as well. While I have encountered a few atheists and agnostics during my travels, most of the unchurched who I meet were at some point members of a church, but for a number of reasons they have dropped out.
I am a committed lover of the church. Even with all her faults, the church continues to be a positive force in the world. With the government at every level pulling back on its care for the poor, the church and other religious institutions support increasing numbers of people who are suffering economically. The church, the mosque, and the synagogue are sacred, safe places where our youth learn important values and are nurtured in the faith.
Families are strengthened, elderly are supported, and the beloved community is fostered within the church, unlike any other place. Virtually every gain in the African American community, including educational, economic, and racial justice, had its inception in the Black Church. So, while we must address the failings of the church, we should also acknowledge the enormous positive impact the church has on society.
When talking with someone who is no longer active in the church, there are four reasons that I hear most often. It would do well for those of us in church leadership to carefully and prayerfully consider these very real issues that pull many people away from church. It is important for those who love God; desire spiritual growth, and seek a loving, nurturing faith community, to consider whether any of these issues are significant enough to keep you away from the very relationships that are vital to a Christian life.
Four Reason Why Someone May Be Inactive in the Church:
1. Life Happens!
The majority of those who’ve dropped out of church said, that some change in their lives, such as a new work schedule; relocating to a new community, getting married, having children, and the enormous demands on their time is the primary reason why they no longer attend church. People are busy and there are important choices they have to make about their time. Often church is viewed as nice, but not necessary; as optional, not urgent.
When tragedies occur, the church is the place many turn for support, comfort, and prayer. Church suddenly becomes both necessary and urgent, and rightly so. But why wait until times of trouble? When you cultivate a Spirit-filled life, you and your family are better prepared to face the times of trouble and are rooted in a community of faith where you can share the celebration during the times of triumph. (Read Ephesians 4:11-16)
2. Church Hurts (Part I) - Mean Members
Hurting people, hurt people and that includes hurting church people. There is no hurt, like church hurt. That’s because the church is the place people come seeking healing, acceptance, and love. Tragically, too often, they also find criticism, rejection, and emotional abuse. The church is full of people who are struggling with all the same issues that people who are unchurched are dealing with. Unfortunately, some members inflict pain on others as they are themselves seeking the healing love of Christ for their own pain. (Read Galatians 6:1-10)
Rick Warren once said, “Street vendors know a brand label doesn’t guarantee an item is genuine. It’s also true for those claiming to be Christians.”
3. Church Hurts (Part II) - Pastor, Practice what you Preach!
Everyone knows that ministers are human and are subject to the same mistakes and failings as anyone. However, the minister, unlike almost any other profession, is expected to embody the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is a high calling but it provides a powerful opportunity. If ministers can humbly acknowledge our vulnerability, modeling the love and grace of God, people will respect the fact that we are far from perfect. If we will strive to be persons of integrity, humility, and dignity, people will recognize that the truth of the Gospel of Christ is far greater than those who proclaim it. (Read 1 Peter 5:1-4)
4. I Don’t Have to Belong to a Church to Be a Christian.
This may be true, but it is also true that if you are a growing Christian, you will belong to a church. It is not possible to say that you love the Lord and follow His teaching and then refuse to be a part of the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, the assembly of faith of which Jesus is the head. The writer of the Book of Hebrews was clear and emphatic that a spiritually growing person is one who regularly attends church. (Read Hebrews 10:23-25)
To say that, "I can be a Christian but don’t need to belong to a church," is like saying that you can be married, but don’t have to live with your husband or wife. It may be a marriage, but not a very fulfilling one.
I have visited some restaurants where the food has been terrible; I have been to a few doctors and dentists who were less than professional, and I have been to some movies that I wish I had never seen. In each of these cases, I never said, because of a few bad experiences that I would never go back to another restaurant, doctor, dentist, or movie. I would just choose differently the next time.
There are unhealthy people in every church, and quite frankly, there are some unhealthy churches, but ultimately, the church is the place where lives are transformed.
Jesus said that; “...upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.”
(Matt. 16:18)
That’s a powerful promise to a powerful people! If you’re one of those who’ve become a church drop-out, on behalf of the entire family of God, we want to invite you back home.
Important Steps for Active Members:
If you are one of those still active in a church, here are some important steps for you to take:
1. Pray earnestly and intentionally for specific persons to return to a relationship with Christ and the fellowship of a local church.
2. Pray for pastors, church leaders, and all Christians that we may demonstrate the love of Christ consistently.
3. Be alert to issues within your own life and attitude, which may become a hindrance to others coming to Christ. And be active in your local church.
4. Most of those who’ve left church have said that they are willing to try again––if they are invited. So, just do it! Invite someone who is not active in a local church to come to church with you. Don’t simply ask them to meet you there, pick them up or have them pick you up. The experience will be more meaningful if they accompany someone with whom they feel comfortable.
5. Assist them to identify how they can connect with a ministry in the church where they can make a difference.
6. Let them see the spiritual transformation that has occurred in your life. Talk with them about how God has used the church to help you grow in Christ and what a difference it has made in your life.
7. Be honest about the fact that the church is made up of imperfect people and inevitably, someone will say or do something that will disappoint them. However, our primary relationship is with Christ and He is perfect.
Peace & Blessings,
Pastor W. Darin Moore
**Pastor Moore will share a specific topic each month with the Greater Centennial congregation.
Please submit all questions for Pastor's Blog, "Moore Moments'' by the10th of each month to
pastorsblog@www.greatercentennial.org ."
